When it comes to engagement and marriage, despite popular belief, love isn’t all you need. What is needed can differ from couple to couple, and even change depending on the circumstances that two people find themselves in. If finances are chaotic, if health issues are present, if the time just doesn’t seem right, a man in love might not think that proposing to the woman in his life is the right thing to do. Most men want to establish themselves as loving providers, protectors and as a source of confident stability for the women that they love. If they feel that any of these things are lacking, getting him to propose could be like pulling teeth. In fact, it might not happen at all.
Convincing a man to make a life-changing proposal isn’t an easy feat, and it cannot be done if marriage isn’t on his mind at all. You can’t expect someone who’s non-committal to transform overnight with the sheer power of your love. But if you’ve been together for a while and engagement seems like the next logical step to both of you, even if you have different ideas as to when it should happen, making him feel comfortable in proposing might not be so difficult.
This isn’t about tricking or manipulation, but about helping your man get comfortable with the idea of engagement and marriage to the point where he has led to that decision himself.
Let him know that it’s on your mind
No, I’m not saying that you should start harping on and on about marriage and weddings! But dropping a little signal here and there could be helpful. Work wedding topics into the conversation without forcing it. This is especially effective and non-intrusive if it comes naturally, such as if a friend or relative has gotten engaged you can tell him that they have chosen the engagement ring from the best brand, or you can speak about the size of the ring etc.
Do not rush him into making a decision he’s not ready for.
Different people are ready for engagement at different points in their lives. If he is flat-out not ready, he’s not going to want to propose. When the topic comes up, let him know that you’re okay with waiting. Nobody wants to get engaged to someone who tries to force them to bend to their will.
Honest and open communication is key.
If you’ve been together for a while, chances are you’ve already had at least some conversation about the future. Be frank, open and honest about what it is you want down the line, especially when it comes to marriage. Knowing what was on my mind helped my husband feel more comfortable with these chats as time wore on until he finally felt that it was time to propose.
If you drop an ultimatum onto your man’s lap, he’s going to recoil. That’s any person’s natural response to being told: “marry me or else!” If you want to nurture a healthy, happy and stable relationship that could turn into a happy marriage, don’t selfishly make demands like this that put your partner in a tough spot. He’ll likely feel cornered and consider leaving-which is the opposite of what we’re going for here.
Hang out with more married people, if possible.
A lot of guys seem to think that their freedom will come to an abrupt halt when they say “I do.” The best way, in my experience, to squash this concern was to encourage my man and myself to spend more time with our friends and relatives that have already gotten married. Seeing that they can still live their happiest lives and not feel restricted by their spouse can seriously put a man’s mind at ease when the topic of proposals comes up.